To post or not to post…
I sit at the computer, hesitating. I feel insecure about replacing my old pictures on my website, and I find myself shrinking a bit. As I sit and contemplate my next move, I am hit with an onslaught of thoughts like, "Will this look showy? "Will I be judged?" "You should definitely fly under the radar."
Suddenly, I have the feeling that I am back at the beginning, back at the beginning of the very path that I thought was my way out of this place. The self-doubt sinks deeper with phrases like "I thought we were done with this" and "Wait, there's more work to do?” I was under the impression that I was miles and miles away from that trailhead and that I would never see it again.
The trailhead serves as a time and place in my life when I too often relied on the outside world to tell me what to do and who to be. It was a time in my life when I poured my self-worth and value into the machine of my external environment, hoping it would produce results that told me I was good enough.
I recognize that I could go the "F-it" route and use "Who the hell cares?" or "It's their problem if they judge me" as an antidote to how I feel, but the truth is that it would be the exact same energy and vibration as the one I'm already in. It would be nothing more than a defense mechanism. It would not be coming from a place that is solid, that is grounded in the knowing of my inner being.
I get clear on the fact that I don't want to stay in these feelings, and I know that is a crucial step I have to take before I am offered another fortuitous beginning. I sift through the noise of my mind and walk the pathway back to a real connection with my Self. I reconnect to the place within that knows I am ultimately responsible for my life, authenticity, self-worth, and happiness, not the outside world. I remind myself that as long as I am aligned, enjoying life and finding joy, that it will not harm others.
I now know that making a different choice in the present, when faced with old patterns of the past, sets me on a yet another new course to expand and grow.
I stand at the beginning of the trail and pause, this time with a very different perspective and I walk confidently past what appeared to be the beginning with new insight. On this new path I can freely enjoy my life and its many experiences, and most importantly, I know that I will not get stuck again.
I decide to post the new pictures from the photo shoot because there is no harm in enjoying the results of an incredibly fun and inspiring photo shoot. A heartfelt thank you to Shay Walker, for bringing her magic and good vibes.
Hi, I’m Sara Rose.
Explore my blog to uncover the extraordinary transformations hidden in everyday moments.
